clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
