Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
