Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
