So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
