If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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