Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
