Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The air was thick with penises
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
