so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
