I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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