Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
