I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
