is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
