First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
