office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
