Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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