That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
