This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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