He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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