woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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