I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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