just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
