the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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