Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
