Midget sex pt 2 tonight
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
