so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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