so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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