Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
