I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
it glows. i had to have it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
