dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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