Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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