i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
