Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
