Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The Olympian is in my bed
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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