woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
