OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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