you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
