But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
