i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
