you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
