My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
