So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
