He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
