I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You can't motorboat a personality
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
