I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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