I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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