Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
