I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't put those talents on a resume
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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