As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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