Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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