What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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